Updated: Jan 11
I am writing this in January, which has often been called "Divorce Month" because people believe more divorces are filed in this month. This isn't necessarily true (March and August see the most filings), but what is true is that there is an increase in people doing internet searches on divorce in the first month of the year -- I think along with more searches on
healthy eating and exercise. We all seem to want to start afresh in the new year in many areas of our lives.
While you may not be filing for divorce in January, or even reading this in January, now is the time to begin to do your research to understand how the decisions you make will impact you during and after a divorce. Being overwhelmed is a frequent feeling when considering a divorce -- start by taking small steps to get informed about the process and your choices.
Here are five myths to let go of before you file -- there are many others, and we will start with these. We will go in to detail on each of these in our following posts, but keep these old myths in mind as you begin to prepare yourself.
Myth #1: Call a Lawyer First
(NO!! Do your homework BEFORE you call a lawyer! Take control of your process and your expenses by getting informed and prepared.)
Myth #2: Divorce is Always Nasty.
(NO -- it doesn't have to be, even with all the messy emotions. We need to maintain our integrity and self-respect during this time. Learn some ways to hold on to your values and keep the emotions down a notch.)
Myth #3: Divorce is Always Expensive.
(There are many, many ways of controlling the costs of divorce. Most of these will require you to do legwork on your own, but the savings can be significant. And who doesn't want to have more $$ in their pocket as they start out new?!!)
Myth #4: Most Divorces Go to Court.
(Actually, NO. Most divorces are resolved outside of a court trial. Learn how to avoid this (=$$$) and take control of your process.)
Myth #5: A Divorce Means Failure .
(Yes -- this is a hard one, isn't it. The end of a relationship does not necessarily mean failure. We can work on changing our ideas on this)
Is it time to re-think these myths? YES! Moving forward with new ideas can help make your own journey less stressful. We will chat about each of these in our next posts.